Some ideas to build back better in Belleville Ontario.

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In Canada everyone is either pre-pissed off about Justin Trudeau’s Great Reset. Or they have the opinion of “Come on already, let’s just get this going!” How can Belleville Ontario build back better? How do we address inequality, climate change & extreme poverty. What can we do to build a town that works better for everyone?

  1. Jobs that work around Transit & income compromise – What if we stopped setting the expectation that people paid under $20 an hour are expected to have their own transportation to work? What if instead for these people we schedule job hours around the regular hours of the transit system? This could seriously give people a leg up and set realistic expectations about the types of jobs people can seriously work without access to their own personal vehicle. As of this year Municipality Social Assistance programs have began funding bus passes. If we want people to use less Fossil Fuels it is not a simple matter Private companies innovating new products. The fact is we need to get some cars off the road or prevent people from being regular drivers. We need more transit dependent workers! That is simple math. Less fossil fuel outputs means less individual drivers! Why not focus on people earning the least income? It isn’t a grand elitist scheme. It is simply viewing transit as infrastructure.
  2. Green Jobs Training programs – I did a tourism program at Career Edge in 2018. This was funded by a program in Toronto. Why aren’t we funding programs for work work in Environmental clean up? Why aren’t we funding education in Solar & Wind Turbine technology? From what we can see in the Pandemic all the jobs that were created in Tourism have no disappeared. If we emphasized more on expanding Green Jobs, ideally these jobs would stay active in a Pandemic scenario. I said this before and I will say it again. The tourism programs of Quinte West serve no purpose other than to contribute to Over development and Gentrification of our once poor neighborhoods & Communities. They kick poorer people out to bring rich outsiders in.
  3. Funding training of PSWs & Nursing staff & re-shaping the jobs- The leader of the Green Party of Canada Annamie Paul has declared the situation in Long Term Care facilities a Humanitarian Crisis. Part of the reason for this is short staffing issues. We need to create incentive for people to enter these care programs so they can fill vacancies that these homes need filled immediately. We also need to make it easier for Nurses and PSWs in these homes to Unionize so that more of these jobs are twisted to be long term employment. The lack of accountability to employees from facilities in the Care industry within Belleville Ontario is sickening. This is a quote about the Richmond Retirement Residence in Belleville Ontario “This home is great if you don’t have issues that require extra care, which we were paying extra for My mom had a stench of urine in her room and the staff and Manager didn’t address it when I continually brought it to their attention. The manager said to me “you know that the girls that are working her have been here for a long time and they’ve lost their sense of smell. I kid you not. Otherwise if you don’t have extra needs, it’s pretty nice.” Bette Hunter. Not recognizing and addressing the smell of urine in a retirement home is simply not okay… We also should allow for more home care which can allow for Elderly to remain in their homes without forfeiting independence.

Related links, click to view:

Green New Deal

G7 Countries Fossil Fuel Scorecard

Doug Ford’s Policies cater to the rich & Powerful in Ontario

Disabilities in North Korea

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There is a genocide happening in North Korea in relation to the disabled people in North Korea. I think this is tragic and sad! According to the Voice of North Korea they test Chemical weapons on disabled people in North Korea.

When I think about how a concussion tragically effected my disability? I am stressed and I suffer with feelings of hopelessness.

I am grateful that I am not in a society that would end my life simply for being born with Autism.

This is obvious but this blog has never advocated for Totalitarian Socialism like was seen in North Korea and Nazi Germany. We advocate for Democratic Socialism like is seen in Canada or Sweden & United Kingdom After World War 2.

I am Glad that for example Belleville Ontario celebrates Autism Awareness.

What to do if you see someone without a mask on?

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I know it is an anxious time and Covid19 is a tremendous threat. We need to do something. We need to have more people masking & Social Distancing. We need to make sure this message gets across. Well for now, consider this the job CBC News! For the Opposition which every Political Science Student understands is necessity it is time to talk about my opinions on what to do when you see someone not masking?

Imagine you are in a hair Salon, Mall, Gym or little boutique violating regulations around the Pandemic. What do you do? Well you are a good “person” who wants to prevent spread. So what do you do? LEAVE THEM THE F*** ALONE! LEAVE THE THE f**** ALONE! Do you want a god damn insurrection? Take your do good moralistic for the times BS and F**** OFF! Do you want people to have a valid common sense opposition to law & order? That is the cause of anarchy! LEAVE THEM ALONE! THEY ARE EVEN LEGALLY PROTECTED! ALSO IT DOESN’T MATTER! LEAVE THEM ALONE! PICK YOUR DAMN BATTLES ! This is the crap that creates a failed State.

In Kingston Ontario during a time I was having fairly regular Autism Seizures related to my concussion. I was being forced to mask by people. Then I caught a common cold and I was kicked out of a Homeless Shelter. After which I was told to wait 4 days for a Covid19 test. The first night I slept out on the street and someone at a local pizza place in Amherstview had to revive my dehydration from massive hysteria.

People, we need to learn to leave people with various disabilities ALONE! LEAVE THEM ALONE! Unless you want this virus TO BE THE HILL LAW & ORDER AS WELL AS SOCIETY ITSELF TO DIE ON! LEAVE PEOPLE WITHOUT MASKS THE F*** ALONE!

Reasons people might not be able to mask

  • Breathing tubes
  • Autism
  • Other disabilities
  • PTSD
  • CPTSD
  • 20 years of smoking
  • 10 years of smoking
  • 5 years of smoking
  • Any reason they god damn say!
Retractions I have had to made related to psychosis

LEAVE THEM ALONE!

Why I can’t write my autobiography?

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I can’t write my autobiography or Diagnose my own psychological problems. This is despite the self-proclaimed name of Dr. Ostrich. I can not hide a Mental illness under a poorly constructed God Complex. I can’t denied the fact that as I declare myself god after a concussion. That I have clearly gone insane.

I was born in the Greater Toronto area. I went to School in Belleville, then Brighton & then college in Belleville. Then I went to college in Kingston. Then I went to College in North York. All to be a web design and communications major with a Business Diploma. (Why I studied Communications & Business?) I didn’t know how to function. I am still working on that…

Why I wanted to work at Giant Tiger?

This actually started off with me becoming more interested in my classes in Supply Chain Management.

my ex boss Jennifer

Despite what I said after my last concussion I don’t think she is the root of all danger. You know Oscar from Corner Gas?

The guy always fixates on these pointless feuds like with the liquor store, or with a cow in the animated series. By fixating on my feud with Giant Tiger & my ex manager I am hoping to avoid confrontation with anyone else. Which is stupid… My ex was there and he always had his common sense.

Concussion signs in order

Hitting my head, not sleeping for most of 2 days, repeating a day. Then a blur of pointless arguments, meetings with social workers & fixing my relationship with Dad. The fact that I am overexerting myself and not actively trying to prevent that.

Also I joined an anti-mask movement on social media.

What I do well in relationships?

I am the type who can show up when you have no WiFi. Helps them move furniture and just talks. I like doing things for the people I date.

What I do bad in a relationship?

I have a way of making everyone I date feel used at some point. Actually the truth is I have used most of my exes to achieve something. I got tutored in web design by my first college sweet heart. My Second College sweet heart was nuts but made me interested in Psychotherapy. My last ex improved my math skills.

I don’t break up well…

Up until now writing about this included a lot of pointless alternating between blaming myself or blaming my most recent ex. You can dig a little deeper than my most recent ex. I could of been a better ex to my first transgender girlfriend. I could of been a better ex to my most recent ex boyfriend. I often instead play the resentful and still attached psycho.

My Bizarre comfort zones

  • Public Libraries
  • Gyms
  • Educational institutions

Sibling complaints

In my biography how do I talk about hate websites that became cruel competitions? Or digging up old feuds in the arena of a concussion meltdown. Sibling complaints always come down to family entitlements, underlying resentments & an urge to control that other person that looks like you.

Questions I’ve been asked?

If your family is so bad why did they end up helping you? Well they probably didn’t deserve the critiques they got, Whether honest or faulty. Some of what I wrote may of been nothing more than a carried away thought. The beauty of my “Coronacussion” is head trauma + the eery sight of a Pandemic.

Are you a serious person or a comedian? When I have a concussion? I am a train wreck. Otherwise I am whatever the circumstances call for. You can’t perfectly tune Autism. The gifts of our kind have been greatly exaggerated.. At times anyways.

Are you high functioning? I wish there was a more appropriate way to integrate psychosis in to a functioning conversation. If you mean could I work in normal circumstances. I believe I could of. If you mean this to ask if I am cool to go without help? No I would still like help at times. I view it as I can function in a classroom but not a job with a day to day life yet. The simplest answer… “I am high functioning crazy.” At best one day it will turn itself in to a sustainable life patterns eventually.

Do you wield any real power? Besides this website. No not really… Will I go psychotic and think I wield power. I did I guess. It was stupid!

Why I mentioned marriage during head injury psychosis?

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This is going to sound insane but I mentioned marriage to my recent ex many times after the Concussion. This is kind of bleak but it is coded in my mind out of a kind of fear. “I love you and I feel like I might die with you.”/ AKA till death do us part. This is worth knowing for if it ever happens again. When I wasn’t convincing myself I was invincible? I was convinced I was going to die after the June 7th – 8th concussion.

I have multiple codes for “I think I am going to die.” Sometimes I will just come out and say “I think I am going to die.” This is proof of an episode of hysteria. The Psychology student I knew at Queen’s University student told me to talk about more openly when he aided a prior concussion recovery. I do not and can not experience a concussion without psychosis.

I am actually sorry my ex experienced this delusion. It does have a rather grim separation element. Currently I am trying to let go separation equaling death. As this is an unfair burden to try and place on anyone.

Wrath of an autistic concussion post

2020, the year I felt the wrath of an autistic Concussion. I am sorry!

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French:

J'ai une commotion cérébrale / I have a concussion / 脑震荡
In 2020 I was lost in my head I was heart broken and had a full Mental Health implosion.

Any time I think of 2020 for the rest of my life. I will think of the wild ride of a Giant Tiger workplace concussion and full on psychosis. A psychosis that hurt many people including an ex employer. ex boyfriend & family. A Psychosis drove me nearly to death. Here are some new truths for me after this traumatic brain injury:

When I started blogging? My Goal was to give you an incredibly unique voice to autism, autistic issues & autism human rights. I wanted to capture proof of the fact I had a loose grip on my sanity. Which I now have! I wanted to figure out myself. Which I now I have. The other goal was to write the blog to communicate to myself. How I am doing? Where is my head at? Am I suffering with depression, anxiety or suicidal ideation. In 2020 the answer was all of the above.

  1. I now allow for mental health interventions as needed – Up to & including moving me to Hotel Dieu & Safe Beds.
  2. I now warn people I can’t take impact to the head – There were moments with a head injury where I felt perfectly fine but I had gone completely whacko. This freaks me out. The reason I learned Cyber Security & posted this on the web was to potentially hold myself accountable later as needed. I intend to issue apologies as well omit posts.
  3. I need a job with dental coverage – I am just having teeth problems.
  4. I need to start setting expectations for dependent relationships – I am getting to the point where I need to think about a committed relationship as an autistic person. I don’t have a long life expectancy and I can’t fool around forever. I want someone to be there for me when my mental health begins to go forever.
  5. I’ve had experience with amnesia – Like forget where you live amnesia. There was a day in Kingston Ontario where I spent a significant amount of time lost because I forgot where I slept.

6. I have had hysterical anger, sadness & fear– She might not be to blame as much but I was angry at my old boss. Then I got angry at my family. then I got angry at my ex .Then I was sad my ex left me. This was insane. It was like I couldn’t actualize a single feeling at times. I was just lost in an overly emotionally stressed brain.

Even though it was at times embarrassing. I am glad I recorded my actions & mindset online. If you think I don’t work off of what I write you are insane! I go back and re-review. I have regrets and I have made mistakes. The reason I am glad to write an account of these actions publicly is so people can gauge where my head is at and bring something to the attention of a new relationship if needed.

I am sorry if I hurt you, made you feel alone or betrayed.

Sincerely

Ashton De Roy

Next time I am going to talk about why I mention marriage in a head injury psychosis to a partner. It is a coded language.

I have attachment issues

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Dear reader,

If I have sent this to you and we are dating. It is time to talk about Autistic Attachment problems as this may be something you have to deal with.

I would not send this unless deep feelings have developed. If we are at a point where deep feelings have developed then it is essential I tell you this.

I did not grow up with Secure attachments with my Divorced parents or extended family. I grew up as a burden that could be sent to Grandma’s house when I got too problematic!

It is also true that in August 2020 I left my ex boyfriend’s house in a Cop car to go to Safe Beds in Kingston Ontario. That was from not handling an adult break up well…

As of the time I am writing this article I don’t feel up for a new relationship. I am 27, exhausted & I nearly died a few times in September in the following ways:

  • Dehydration during break up hysteria after being kicked out of the Community Homeless shelter. This was by crying and walking a long way until I collapsed.
  • Infection from dirty soiled clothing.
  • Getting attacked by meth heads.

I have had a really complicated life that over complicates my already complicated Autistic psychology. A lot of the time I am by myself I get lost in my head or I contemplate my meaningless life in unhealthy ways. Conversations about working on myself are useless… All they have ever translated in to Autism Psychosis wise is masking symptoms that I should speak up about. You really need to take from this article that I struggle with my mental health and sudden separation could be a huge personal challenge for me. Still you are entitled to leave when you choose. You just don’t have any authority on how I behave post-separation. You really should just get far away like Kaylib Drury did.

Still living in Social Isolation and starting to prefer it.

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Last incident of abnormal behavior #AutismAware: I had the shakes for most of today & yesterday. I am also having flashbacks to my time being Homeless.

Something I think about: Who can I work for now that I have seizures?

French coffee order: Un café 1 lait et 1 sucre

I’ve been by myself in an apartment in Belleville Ontario for a bit. This is my second month living alone.

I am not doing excellent but I am toying with an idea of a more isolated life moving forward. Like I am not issuing a ton of apologies to people for stuff I did during my concussion. It would be wrong to expect this! What if this is who I am?

  1. I am the type of person who fires back on an opponent’s criticisms. I do not take critique or advice from anyone. Ideally I would accept criticisms from those I live with more in the future. However, I will degrade anyone that degrades me.

2. I am the type of person can attribute some of their prior injuries to family. Maybe eventually I will get over it but some stuff I haven’t even had time to be angry about. In an effort to “Let It go!” I don’t know how I really feel about anything anymore. It seems like I have to let everything go and everyone else has free reign to be insane. Meanwhile I literally broke my head trying to do better for myself for my family.

3. I am the type of person who depended too much on a 2 year Casual relationship, that I was unaware had stopped progressing. It might be worth telling partners in the future. I didn’t have a lot of personal security growing up. Now I latch to whatever is comfortable with a death grip. It isn’t healthy but it happened…

New mission Statement

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I hope over time this blog will serve more as a check & balance. Less of a Dictatorship on a website.

I am capable of achieving & crashing. Inspiring and scaring.

I can dazzle some and terrify others.

This is life with an Autistic Psychotic Disorder.

Let’s start an honest conversation.

We are all just monkeys with an identity crisis.